


Riddles and Jokes

by CavannaRose



Series: Harley Quinn Fics [12]
Category: Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics)
Genre: Corpse Desecration, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7600417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CavannaRose/pseuds/CavannaRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avoiding another round of discipline from the Joker, Harley goes looking for her old buddy Ed... and finds him in quite the predicament.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harley was bored. B. O. R. E. D. It was one thing, hiding out from J when he was in a bad mood, and another _entirely_ to keep oneself entertained in the interim. What on earth was a jester to do, to entertain herself under the circumstances? Nothing too eye catching, that was for sure. She'd barely recovered from the last ... consequences of her spurious actions. Best not to test the bossy bastard too soon following that. Instead she sidled on down where she knew there was always someone to bother. The boys needed a walk anyway.  
  
She skipped around in search of her fourth favourite human-type person in the whole world... Maybe fifth, it depended on how cranky he was going to be today. "Yooohooo... _Eddie_... RIDDLES! Where ya at tanight? I came ta visit ya!"  
  
... Silence. Nothing. Nobody. Gornisht.  
  
Heaving a sigh of exasperation, Harls slumped to a rest on the nearest chair, arms crossed and forehead wrinkled with a frown of concentration. Where could he possibly be? She was BORED! She glumly scowled around the private room at the stupid music lounge. Why did people even come to places like this? More importantly, why didn't they come here when she was looking for them?  
  
Stalking back outside she gathered up Bud and Lou's leashes, absently patting their heads as they slobbered affectionately at her kneecaps. Just then Bud's ears pricked forward, and with a weird little chuckle both hyenas were off, dragging the erstwhile blonde behind them. At first she laughed, but it quickly became less of a game and more of a desperate attempt to breathe and not gain a concrete facial.  
  
Finally the three of them skidded to a halt, down an embankment and through a graveyard. She shrieked as the hyenas dove in to what appeared to be a freshly dug grave, just waiting to be filled in the morning. Harls dropped the leashes, not in the least interested in joining them, until she heard growling. Gulping as she mustered her courage, she eased over to the lip of the hole, peering in to see the hyenas each with one end of what looked like a human arm in their mouths, tugging exhuberantly while bits of flesh and the slow ooze of old blood speckled their muzzles.  
  
It appeared the body wasn't the only thing in the hole, though. Her big blue eyes got even wider. "Eddie..? S'that you down there?"


	2. Chapter 2

She watches with curiosity as the dapper Riddler puts as much room as he can between her rather messy babies and his fine suit pants, while still being fussy over the grit and grime of his rather close quarters. She never much concerned herself with the negative effects of a little dirt herself, it didn't hurt nobody, and it certainly covered it's fair share of crimes.

Bud and Lou had managed to rip the appendage in half at the joint, each settling into a corner of the 2 1/2 by 8 foot hole, Edward and his suit forgotten as they happily gnawed at the putrefying, filling the quiet air with cracking, sucking sounds as they shattered bones with their fearsome jaws, getting at the sweet marrow within.

She might play the bimbo, and she did it well, it was the kind of thing that kept her on the fringes of people's notice. Never mind the harmless blonde and all that, but she was pretty damn observant. She noticed the flash of disgust behind the green-clad man's eyes, and then that slight softening, maybe unnoticed even by him, as he gaze trailed across her poorly disguised bruises. That wouldn't do, she wouldn't be pitied. That wasn't why she was here.

At least it was Eddie, he wasn't known for his pity. Disdain and pretentiousness, well that was more his forte, and she wouldn't hold it against him. It made him a different kind of fun, more like Ivy than J, truth to tell. Plus, he was one of the few people who never bossed her around. He'd much rather leave clues and riddles than straight out tell someone what to do, and that was something a gal had to appreciate now and then.

"Miss Quinzel..."

"Awful clevah of ya, Riddles, dumpin' a body 'neathe a fresh grave. They ain't nevah gonna check it afore they put the casket in, an' then if they do wanna look here they gotta get an exhumation ordah from tha courts. Didja get tha' offa Dextah too?" She gave her signature giggle, and if it was a little more strained than usual, well it was only Eddie and her boys to hear it. Besides, she liked the way he called her 'Miss Quinzel', so classy.

She slid down the inside of the grave, not worried about the dirt and damp that clung to her own outfit, nor how crowded a hole that size became when occupied by three bodies, albeit one in pieces, and two full grown hyenas. She flashed Edward a brilliant grin and turned to her pets, hands on her hips and a stern frown on her face.

"Bud! Lou! Tha two of ya can stop disruptin' Eddie's crime scene right now! Drop it! Droooop it!" With a whine the beasts lowered their heads, reluctantly releasing their treasures. "That'sa good boys. Whose mommy's babies?" Descending quickly into baby talk she knelt between them, unconcerned by the gore and filth soaking into the legs of her outfit as she rubbed behind their ears, and the hyenas dribbled red-tainted drool across the backs of her shoulders as they rested their massive heads on either side of her neck. Praise received, they scrambled from the hole as Harley pointed them upward, finally leaving the two people, and the rather scattered remains of the body, alone.

"Sorry about tha, Eddie. I ain't usually fed 'em yet at this time, an' the smell got 'em all excited. Didja need a hand gettin' her all inta ya hole or am I just in the way?" The eagerness of her voice as she offered faded near the end, and she bit her lip, taking a step back to give the immaculate criminal space to breathe, and think. She was lonely and wanted the company, but if you wanted to hang with Eddie you had to play him a little, it was all part of the game. She peered up at him with sad baby blues from beneath lowered lashes, letting a little flash of vulnerability, the fear of rejection show. Not too much, she didn't want pity, just enough to garner a little sympathy.


End file.
